Synopsis

Bradford and Samantha, the celebrity couple made famous from the reality programme Bitchkrieg House, appear on The Renee Flowers Show, where they talk about their career plans and show off tacky tattoos of each other’s name as a token of their engagement.

Immediately after the show wraps, the couple start to bicker and it becomes apparent that their relationship is nothing but a promotional arrangement. During meetings with their put-upon manager, Samantha is shown to be capricious and neurotic, while Bradford undergoes a cocaine-fuelled psychotic breakdown.

En route to their next promotional booking, the couple’s limousine is involved in a car crash. They come-to inside a clinic where they are tended over separately by a solitary character called Doctor Abbatage. He seduces Samantha with promises of a new plastic face and songs about French cheese, meanwhile subduing Bradford with massive doses of morphine.

While Bradford and Samantha are written off as dead by the outside world, inside the clinic they are subjected to a series of horribly disfiguring operations at the hands of Dr. Abbatage. The couple eventually manage to re-unite and escape by stowing away inside crates aboard a van leaving the clinic for an unknown destination.

Emerging inside a large concert venue, Bradford and Samantha escape the attentions of the chief of staff and two policemen by hiding in the fly tower of a music stage. They soon realise that the performer on the stage below is Dr. Abbatage–or rather, the jazz percussionist Elvis von Schader-Knacker, who is using their severed jaws as a musical instrument.

A fight and a chase ensue, during which the couple manage to overpower the jazzman–however, in the process, their jaws are destroyed. After escaping a lynch mob by showing off the same tacky tattoos they displayed on television, Bradford and Samantha overcome the loss of their jaws by kissing, with their remaining jaws fitting together into a yin-yang shape.

Bradford and Samantha appear once more on The Renee Flowers Show, where a fight ensues after Samantha accuses the interviewer of eyeing up Bradford.